Huckleberry Sauce

1 bag huckleberries
3 Starbucks honey packets
mountain stream water
mess o' grits (see below)

1. Pick bag of huckleberries. Watch out for moose!

You know what I mean!!!

Thank you.

The "Iraqi Voter"

2. Measure out enough mountain stream water to cover berries. Combine water with pilfered Starbucks honey packets. Heat water, stirring constantly, until honey dissolves.

3. Add berries. Bring to a boil, then simmer until berries begin to pop.

4. Allow sauce to cool completely, preferably overnight in a bear-proof food storage box. But be sure to close the lid on that shit, because if bears are gonna come to your campsite, they're gonna come for stewed huckleberries fo sho.

5. Follow package instructions to prepare approximately one mess o' grits.

6. Add sauce to taste. Huckleberries do not contain a lot of their own pectin, so the sauce is kind of juice plus berries, so try not to think of that one scene in "The Golden Child" with Eddie Murphy where the monk kid squishes the gruel and blood comes squirting out, despite not being able to get that scene out of your head since watching it at a premature age.

7. Enjoy your tart-sweet purple grits!